I think I've hit the realization that I am self conscious because I fear I am not up to par for the people I love. I am scared that my beauty, beauty meaning beyond physicality, will not be enough to keep or sustain through difficult times. In my eyes, their beauty will never be in question if it is enough, it is more than enough. It is a blessing. I just want the same certainty. I want to be worth it. I want to be a blessing. Just like they are in my life...
I don't want to feel like I fall into the background noise anymore. I don't want to disappear. It's just when I am with them, they are all I see. It's like looking into the eyes of a miracle. And I am falling.
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