The weather inside my head as of late has been groggy. Yesterday I woke up, thinking it would be one of the best days of summer, and it turned out to be one of the worst. And this forecast in my head is cloudy. It is just another example of how you never know just how different your day will turn out, or just how predictable. I was planning on just laying in bed all day, because it is pointless to roam aimlessly around my piano, doodle on a few notes and melodies, and manage to wander back into bed. There's not too much I want to do today. I am helpless to the fact that my heart feels like sandpaper is rubbing against it, and I'm trying not to cry too much. But every little thing is setting me off. I just want to be alone, but part of me is insisting that I take Katy's advice and go to that swim party. I can at least pretend to be okay. I can smile, and maybe even get a real laugh into it. But who really knows.
I don't know if I can do this. But, I'm going to try.
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