The Winding Road

Writing, writing, writing...

It seems it's like one of the only things that make sense nowadays. I sit back and wonder, wide eyed, when I will stop crying. And for some reason, it normally happens at night just before I dream. An acknowledgement of things that cannot be ignored or pushed aside. An acknowledgement that there is a hole inside my chest.

Something about nighttime drives makes me want to go down that road forever. No other cars. Thoughtful music. City lights. Overcast weather. Simplicity.

I beg for simplicity because when things become overcomplicated, it saturates my mind with too many thoughts, most of them overwhelming. I literally cannot breathe when I am overwhelmed by things, and these things as of late have been from pain. Mental heartache manifests into physical discomfort. And it sucks.

I just look forward to being an "adult". I want to get the hell out of high school. Get the hell away from people who are, simply put, just fucking stupid. I'm sick of mindless people who have no thoughts deeper than the drama that is surrounding their immediate life. I have a word of advice for you: Get over it.

I'm looking for people who have this incredible energy for life. Passion filled people with potent minds and good hearts. People who utilize their voices for a purpose on any scale. Do not speak of useless things. Speech was created for a purpose of expressing oneself. Not to fill awkward silences. Whether it be for entertainment, enlightenment, what have you. Use your voice for a purpose.

Lastly, speaking of "adulthood", I want the luxury of having the proper circumstances for a relationship. Sneaking around your parents, asking to borrow the car or for gas money, having a curfew, ect. - limits you and also makes you realize how immature a relationship like that can be. It's too childlike and too reckless.I want to be able to fall in love without anyone else's approval, see them whenever and wherever, enjoy a day spent in bed or at home with them...

Makes me wish I could grow up faster.